D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T is new song we're singing

What a firestorm of pig stuff was set off by my innocent comment last week that in Michigan a pig is a pig – not a javelina.

I was deluged by more advice and information about pigs and javelinas than I ever wanted to know. In fact, I try not to think too much about pigs – the animals – especially when I’m eating them.

Because while eating chicken doesn’t bother me so much, eating pork starts to cross the line. Not that there is anything endearing about pigs or javelinas, but they are a step up from chickens on the evolutionary chain. And like I’ve always said, taking one step makes the second one easier and before you know it you’re out there eating elk with Al “The Butcher” Poskanzer.

And if you think I am exaggerating the danger, I submit as Exhibit A an article from the May 24 & 31 “double issue” of Newsweek magazine by Julia Reed entitled “Whole Hog.”

The point of the article is that pigs aren’t just for Southerners anymore – that Yankees are also embracing swine these days. According to Reed, it was canned Spam that first gave eating pigs a bad name when it was introduced back in 1937. Then the pendulum swung to the opposite extreme when the “Other White Meat” marketing campaign was accompanied by pigs bred to have less fat – and, consequently, no taste.

But now, Newsweek is happy to report, new breeds of pigs are providing a happy medium between unhealthy and tasteless – and the gourmet types are having a field day. In fact, they’re using the whole darn pig – including the parts and pieces that once went straight to the dumpster.

One upscale chef put it this way: “When you are buying whole pigs … you use all the off cuts; it comes from respect for the animal.”

If that statement didn’t give you pause, back up and read it again. Because you can make a lot of excuses for picking clean the bones of a pig, but “respect for the animal” isn’t one I’m buying.

You could say the new breeds of pigs are tasty through and through. You could say times are tough so you can’t afford to waste pig snouts and other parts. You could even say you don’t need to offer an explanation for what parts of a pig you eat.

But please don’t say you’re using the whole pig out of “respect for the animal.”

We are talking R-E-S-P-E-C-T here, but what is being practiced sounds more like D-I-S-R-E-S-P-E-C-T. And it seems to me that disrespect is becoming the norm these days. Allow me to present another example.

In the May 17 issue of Newsweek, relatively youthful columnist Dahlia Lithwick was pontificating about the choice of Elena Kagan to replace John Paul Stevens on the Supreme Court. Lithwick believes that what President Obama wants in a justice is not a liberal, but someone who can be a unifying force on the court.

“Obama, she writes, “is looking for a diplomat who will forge consensus, build bridges, and bring together a polarized court.”

Lithwick further explains that the key swing vote on the court is Justice Anthony Kennedy, so Obama’s choice might have come down to the person most likely to be able to persuade Kennedy to his or her cause. And that, she maintains, is not a quality one usually associates with great justices.

And then she throws in the following insult to people who are getting up in their years – people who look a lot like you and me:

“Possessing the power to persuade a 74-year-old man is not the stuff of which epic constitutional careers are made.”

In other words, it’s one thing to persuade somebody who is young and virile. It could prove a challenging undertaking for a wise and powerful justice.

But a 74-year-old man. Don’t make relatively youthful Lithwick laugh.

So let’s sum this all up. The rich and famous are increasingly dining on pig these days. But they have so much “respect” for the pig that they are eating every little bit of every little pig that goes to market.

I would ask you who is the pig in this instance. The one being eaten, or the one doing the eating.

And choosing a Supreme Court justice for his or her ability to forge compromise is OK, as long as the Bozo justice you are trying to convince isn’t some 74-year-old fogey who probably has fewer than half his wits about him.

Men who disrespect women are sometimes called pigs. Might we also call those individuals pigs who disrespect people over 65?

It used to be that one of the few perks of growing old was the respect one gained as an elder. My fellow senior citizens, that respect seems to be little more than a fond memory.

The good news is that the lowly pig is making a comeback. The bad news is that it’s not just the animal variety.