Photograph by Brian van der Brug/Getty Images.
By Andy Borowitz
GENEVA (The Borowitz Report)—The
landing of the Mars science rover Curiosity does not qualify as a
significant scientific achievement and should not be getting so much of
the public’s attention, says the team of scientists who discovered the
Higgs boson last month.
“People see these beautiful pictures from outer space and they’re
inclined to think that something amazing has been achieved,” a
spokesperson for the Higgs-boson team said. “Let the Mars rover do
something of genuine value, like, say, discover how the universe was
created. Then I’ll be impressed.”
As for the NASA scientists behind the Mars rover, the
Higgs-boson spokesman said, “I don’t think we should be too quick to use
the word ‘scientist’ here. Honestly, anyone can grow a Mohawk and put
on a headset and look cool and all, but that hardly makes you a
scientist. Let’s see some of these dudes discover a particle or
something along those lines. I mean, come on.”
From the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, in Pasadena, response to the Higgs-boson team’s comments was swift and irate, as a NASA spokesman called the remarks “an unacceptable diss.”
“You know the difference between the Mars rover and the Higgs boson?” said a NASA spokesman, his face red with anger. “You can actually see the Mars rover.”
The NASA official went on to say that “I can understand why the Higgs people think they found something that’s real and all, but as far as I can tell their so-called ‘boson’ is about as real as a leprechaun or a Smurf.”
In Geneva, the Higgs team was quick to fire back a response: “At the Large Hadron Collider lab, we’re used to honest disagreements between scientists. But we’d like to
see that douche come over here and say
that to our face.”
3 comments:
Should have some sources. Seems strange they speak so...childish about each other.
2012 baby! Groundbreaking scientist fight over popularity.
I thought they were above all this...
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