Town leaders want us to participate in TV sham

Got an e-mail from a Payson town councilor yesterday asking me to participate in a sham – the town’s appearance on a TV show called “Insights with Terry Bradshaw” which “takes viewers across the country exploring some of America’s ‘hidden gems.’” Apparently the show has been convinced that Payson is a “hidden gem.”

The gang e-mail, which was also sent out by at least one other councilor, invites recipients to come out on Tuesday, Oct. 4 and pretend to be doing things you normally don’t do – like pretending you’re fishing in Green Valley Park and strolling down Main Street pretending you’re shopping. It will give the TV show people the impression that we really have a vibrant town full of enthusiastic people who really give a damn about Main Street and all the other stuff.

Here’s my response to the e-mail:

“Sounds like we're putting on a show. Shouldn't we be who we really are and do what we really do? There's too much bluster and not enough substance in this town these days. Too many promises. Not enough facts or information to back them up. I'm sorry but I long for the Bob Edwards council.”

I mentioned the Edwards council because that was back when people were encouraged to get involved for the right reasons. To participate on committees and task forces addressing real issues of concern to the community.

The reference to bluster vs. substance is, of course, a reference to the grandiose plans of Payson Mayor Kenny Evans which the local newspaper refuses to substantiate by asking him the tough questions like where is he getting $450 million to build a campus for ASU – or, if they don’t come, what makes him think he can just go out and get us a “world class university” like Harvard or Oxford or Cambridge. Give me a break!

I’m sorry folks, but I won’t be there Tuesday. I’m sure the town’s Cameron Davis and the chamber’s John Stanton are breathing simultaneous sighs of relief.  I'd really enjoy the expressions on their faces when I walked up to them with my fishing pole and giant, blow-up fish, but I’ve got better things to do than to pretend I’m something I’m not on a TV show where, we can safely assume, all the other featured “hidden gems” have pretended they’re something they’re not.

Good lord, folks, is that what our culture has become these days – everybody watching stupid TV shows that aren’t even real?

And I have to say I am disappointed in Terry Bradshaw. Why the hell is he doing a show like this? The man was a respected football player and now he’s running a circus sideshow.

But there’s still time for Bradshaw to fix this. When he comes to Payson he could show all the empty storefronts. He could attend a town council meeting where the citizens no longer show up in quantity to participate. He could send his camera crew down almost any street and reveal all the FOR SALE signs on the houses. He could show the packed Wal-Mart parking lot, the real heartbeat of Payson.

It’s not that we’re any different from any other small town. It’s just that we don’t have to be dishonest about who and what we are.  And what are we going to say to people when they decide to move to our "hidden gem," fishing poles in tow.

If you choose to participate just to be on TV, that’s your business. But remember: someday you’ll be standing at the pearly gates explaining to the Big Guy why you deserve to get in. I just hope he doesn’t bring up your appearance on “Insights with Terry Bradshaw.” 

There will be no getting around it because, being the Big Guy, he's sure to show you an instant replay.

(Editor's note: If you want a little light entertainment, rent Chevy Chase's "Funny Farm."  It will very much remind you of what Payson is asking its residents to do on Tuesday.)