Unlike many of you, I didn’t come here for the climate.
I slinked into Arizona back in 1974 like a native lizard on the heels of a divorce. My ex was moving to Arizona to be near her retired parents – and she was bringing our two-year-old daughter with her.
What’s a father to do? I left a great family, a great job, and a great house because I couldn’t bear to be 2,000 miles from my daughter.
There was, to be sure, an aura about Arizona – especially for someone like me who had never been West. I loved the whole cowboy thing. I soon got a horse of my own – and a hat and boots. I built a home on the edge of the forest so I could ride forever.
For a semi-professional photographer, there were so many new and stunning things to take pictures of. The desert. The mountains. The saguaros. The snowbirds.
And then there was the state flag. Nobody but nobody has a cooler state flag than Arizona.
But the state had its downsides too. In Michigan, it was too cold for cockroaches and termites. In Michigan, a pig was a pig – not a javelina.
Then there was the coming of the killer bees. Arizona was one of the first places in the U.S. to be invaded.
And a scorching hot day in Michigan was 90 degrees, not a bleeping 125 – in the shade.
But the biggest downside to Arizona for me was – and remains – its politics. I was far from a liberal when I arrived (heck, I voted for Nixon), but Arizona politics are so far to the right that I was instantly branded with a big “L” on my forehead.
This is, after all, the state of Barry Goldwater, a man, by the way, whom I respect immensely. And of John McCain, a man I used to respect immensely until he chose Bozo Palin to be his running mate and then flipflopped on everything he stood for in the face of opposition from the likes of lightweight extremist J.D. Hayworth.
Don’t even get me started on Ev Mecham, the biggest dodo to ever serve as governor of any state anywhere. And Fife Symington? Don’t go there either.
And now we have Senate Bill 1070, an Arizona original, by which cops can stop anyone they want on the streets and demand to see proof of citizenship.
In my humble opinion, this isn’t about illegal immigrants – we’re all on the same page on that subject. No, it’s about our personal freedoms as guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution.
If we’re going to preserve our freedoms, we best not allow any encroachment – even on Mexicans. Because, as history has proven, it’s a small step to the next level.
But the immediate problem is the black eye suffered by Arizona as a result of SB1070. At a time when the state is under great economic duress others are boycotting us, thus imposing greater hardships.
What’s at risk? That cash cow called tourism, including mostly conventions, potentially $90 million worth of the latter over the next five years, according to the City of Phoenix.
But never fear, because Gov. Jan Brewer, the impetus behind SB1070, has formed a tourism task force to revitalize our image. It has a month to present the gov with a plan
That’s not a lot of time, and meanwhile the convention and hotel cancellations are pouring in. Although we weren’t invited to participate on the task force, we’d like to offer our assistance – as a public service and at no cost to the taxpayers of Arizona.
Now the official ad campaign of the state of Arizona is currently “Free to be.” In light of SB1070, that has to go – unless, of course, we change it to “Free to be – as long as you’re a honky.”
But I think we can do better, and I humbly and respectfully submit the following for the Governor’s consideration:
“But it’s a dry bigotry.”
“We’re white and we wuv it, you wascally wabbits.”
“Grab your guns and come see us.”
Or a variation of the above done in an authentic Arizona drawl:
“Y’all come see us – and bring your guns, y’hear.”
“Now you know why it’s called Tex-Mex.”
“You think 115 is hot? Be glad you’re not Mexican.”
Or the shorter version…
“Making it really hot for Mexicans.”
“We don’t need no stinkin’ conventions.”
“Home of Sheriff Joe.”
“Our parks may be closed, but by God we’re lily white.”
“Visit Arizona: we’ll provide the white sheets.”
“The PURE state, if you get our drift.”
“Out here, we call ‘em Messcans.”
“We might not be politically correct, but our flag is cool.”
“Forests with no trees, rivers with no water, and a state with no Mexicans”
“Where nary is heard a Spanish word”
1 comment:
We share the "You ain't FROM here, boy!" stigma. I recently heard Jinx Pyle comment on The Forum that if you ain't from here, you ought not do research and try to comment on history.
History exists in the minds of the beholders, boys.
In this case. I think the "L" (liberal) should stand for Logical and the "C" (conservative) should stand for Contrary.
It is simply not possible for an "L" and a "C" to engage in polite disagreement around here.
Inevitably the "C" cuts off the conversation and turns his back on
any further examination of facts.
The Law was late to arrive in Arizona. There is still a strong undercurrent of settling things through bluster and "Good Ole Boy Righteousness."
I come from the South, where there are still strong pockets of bigotry. Perhaps they exist in every state.
I don't necessarily agree that SB1070 is the great threat to civil rights that many see in it, but I am happy to debate it civilly. The problem arises - when and how a person may be required to show proper ID. Under the law, this is strictly under suspicious circumstances when a crime or a suspected has occurred. True citizens have a right to file a legitimate complaint IF they are treated improperly.
I have no problem with "illegal." However.
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