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Monday, May 31, 2010

Babies survive bathwater in middle class America

(This is the third and final installment of Noble and Sharon's great cross country odyssey in a 1998 Buick Custom LeSabre.)
The Weather Channel confirmed what AAA was telling us about possible severe weather in western Oklahoma. It appeared to be hovering right around I-40, right in our path. We were half way home, though, and making good time, so we didn’t want to detour unless we absolutely had to do so.

Down I-40 we went - America’s Autobahn - between Little Rock and Fort Smith, Ark. This is arguably the least patrolled and therefore the fastest speed allowed on any highway in the U.S.

It’s a trucker’s delight. They can make up any lost time by keeping “the pedal to the metal” for about 150 miles.

A mere automobile is advised to stick to the “slow” lane to the right. You can “piddle along” at 80 mph if you maintain control of your vehicle when big tractor trailer rigs blow by at something over 90.

I considered just “drafting” one of these rigs and turning off my engine. In the end, Sharon and I disagreed as to the viability of this move. I didn’t take her threats seriously, but I do value my marriage, so I usually let her win a few, especially when she reminds me that I am no longer a teenager - nor even considered middle-aged, anymore, and should act more mature, especially when there is precious cargo to be considered. I refused to sulk or pout, so we got through that little encounter nicely. I’m nothing if not considerate.

Arkansas is the home of Tyson Foods, and most likely a large portion of the population is contracted to grow chickens, cattle or hogs for the company. Farm after farm met some or all of the requirements.

It’s difficult to evaluate the terrain at 80-plus mph, but we were told that there is some beautiful country up in the Ozark Mountains. Lakes and rivers abound, they say, and it makes for a great retirement area. We are pretty well sold on Payson, though, and we know our weather is better, so we aren‘t tempted..

Down I-40 we whooshed until we finally crossed over into Oklahoma, where the speed limit is 70 and strictly enforced. We set the cruise control at 74, and relaxed for the first time since leaving Little Rock. It was early afternoon when we passed through Oklahoma City, and the local radio stations were beginning to report gathering dark clouds ahead. We could actually see this taking place, but there were no reports of hail or tornadoes, so we pushed on, hoping to get past the threatening area before trouble started.

For about an hour, we watched as a huge black cloud formed up ahead but slightly off to our right. Lightning began flashing throughout the cloud, and a slight drizzle caused us to turn on the windshield wipers. We scanned and found a local radio station which was reporting the progress of this storm as it made its way toward Oklahoma City behind us. Several small towns reported wind damage and one even reported a tornado touching down, but this was later recanted.

The storm was moving east and we were moving west, so as long as it remained somewhat to the north, we felt safe. Sure enough, after some tense driving, we arrived at Shamrock, Texas, just over the state line. The weather turned much cooler after the storm, but Shamrock had suffered no damage.

The brief stay in Shamrock was marked by a pretty darn good meal at Vern’s Steak House. The waitress actually asked if we wanted sweet tea or “Un.” and she supplied fresh cut lemon without prompting. At some places in this world, they are keeping the faith. Glory!

I would have given her a big hug, but Sharon reminded me that I am no longer a teenager, nor even middle-aged anymore. I suffered her evaluation without obvious malice, but I managed my best grandfatherly flirt, and it was received graciously.

Before retiring for the night, we noticed that we were close to passing through another time zone. This opened up the possibility of getting all the way to Payson before dark the next day. We resolved to make this our goal.

We slept very well every night, but we did notice some recurring issues with inexpensive motels across the country. First, almost always, either a sink or a bath tub will have a slow drain - very slow in most cases. I don’t greatly enjoy showering with water crawling up my legs, nor is it particularly inviting to shave with a slow sink of murky water staring at me. Unless you stay at a name brand motel, the soap is going to be WWII surplus and what is supplied as shampoo must have been squeezed from the last drops in old bottles, then packaged in tiny plastic envelopes into which has been pumped an equal amount of water. Stay away from the “conditioner.”

The air conditioner will always be an “in-house” model with two settings - very cold or fan. If you like background noise to sleep by, though, these are nice contraptions. These were small annoyances, actually. All the rooms were quite clean and came with Wi-Fi in addition to multiple channel televisions. We saved our money for bigger expenses like McDonald’s or Sonic (our favorite.)

The car was a nice surprise, as it was getting great gas milage.

The terrain fairly quickly becomes rugged and somewhat mountainous as you cross into New Mexico at Albuquerque. Evidence of great land upheaval and volcanic activity is quite noticeable. This continues until Arizona is reached, where, surprisingly the land becomes somewhat flat again. This is the edge of the Colorado Plateau which ends at the Mogollon Rim overlooking Payson.

We turned off I-40 at Holbrook and took some nice back roads over to highway 260, which comes right into Payson. The Rim is at 6,500 feet elevation and once it is crossed, a beautiful winding drive down through Ponderosa forests and fantastic valley views get you to Payson at 5,000 feet.

Home at last! We have driven over 1,800 miles in four days, and actually enjoyed most of it. The car was a jewel, and we remained a happily married couple for the most part.

My faith in good old middle class America was somewhat restored to a large degree as well. Too bad we don’t just turn over all our contentious, spiteful wrangling to these folks who seem to understand real life so well.

They aren’t easily fooled and are positive thinkers mostly. They don’t appear to be interested in throwing out babies in the bath water, so to speak. Not even the murky slow-drain stuff.

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