San Diego hosts shooters of Bin Laden

November 7, 2014

By Andy Borowitz

Credit Photograph by Fred Greaves / Reuters

SAN DIEGO (The Borowitz Report)—The San Diego Convention Center is hosting the first-ever convention of people who shot Osama bin Laden, with organizers expecting a turnout of between three thousand and four thousand.

According to organizers, the agenda of the convention is to help people who killed bin Laden market their story for books, movies, YouTube videos, and other media platforms.

Tracy Klugian, who came up with the idea of the convention shortly after he killed bin Laden, in 2011, said that he hoped the weekend-long gathering would help participants to “take their experience of shooting Osama bin Laden to the next level.”

“At the end of the day, this weekend is all about storytelling,” Klugian said. “I’ve met hundreds of guys who have great stories about the night they shot bin Laden, but they’re still a few workshops away from turning it into a decent TED talk.”

He scoffed at the suggestion that the marketplace was saturated with people who shot the Al Qaeda leader, making it more difficult to monetize that fateful night in Abbottabad.

“That’s like saying there can only be one ‘Hunger Games’ movie,” he said. “Trust me, killing bin Laden is a very powerful brand.”