Speaker Calls President's Practice of Accomplishing Things Unconstitutional

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio) said today that he plans to sue President Obama for violating the United States Constitution with what Boehner called “his outrageous practice of accomplishing things.”

“The United States Constitution guarantees the American people that its government will be free from activity,” Boehner told reporters. “Again and again, President Obama has broken that sacred trust.”

Ripping the President for his “willful insistence on doing things,” Speaker Boehner said that his lawsuit was intended “to restore the inaction and inertia that have been the hallmarks of our democracy.”

The Speaker acknowledged that suing the President was an extreme measure, but added, “I take this step only after exhausting every other method to prevent him from getting anything done.”

Concluding his remarks, Boehner said that he hoped his lawsuit would send a “powerful message” to President Obama: “If you stubbornly continue to take actions that result in tangible outcomes, you will be very, very sorry.”

Photograph by J. Scott Applewhite/AP.