WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—House
Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) unveiled an ambitious plan on Thursday to
avoid making eye contact with outgoing House Majority Leader Eric
Cantor (R-Virginia) until Rep. Cantor leaves Congress, in January of
2015. Speaking to reporters, Boehner acknowledged the
difficulty of avoiding eye contact with the Virginia Republican for the
next seven months, but he stressed the importance of his new plan. “If I make eye contact with him, he might misconstrue that to mean
that I want to talk to him,” Boehner said. “And, let’s be honest, none
of us has to do that anymore.” The House Speaker said that the success of his plan depended largely
on avoiding places Cantor might be. “Fortunately, neither of us is in
the office very often, so that should make it easier,” he said.
Boehner ended his remarks abruptly when he saw Cantor coming down the hall and darted into a janitor’s closet.
Photograph by Chip Somodevilla/Getty.
1 comment:
Why don't we just lock them both in the same closet through separate doors? We don't need either of them anyway.
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