Random shots at the crossroads of '09 and '10

The following is an actual e-mail exchange recently between me and two of my favorite people:

A shot of vodka has 62 calories. Being that I put 5 shots in my nightly martini, the sad news is it amounts to 310 and when the olive is added (15 cal) the count goes 325. And listen to this! The freakin’ pimento in the olive adds another five! If the total of 330 calories for just a moment of peace isn't enough to make a man give up, what is?

It's obvious - you've got to break the pimento habit.

There are two universally accepted methods of controlling caloric intake. One requires reducing the intake and the other requires burning off the calories. A third method is to simply ignore the issue. This method, however, has been found to greatly diminish in effect proportional to one's age.

I recently watched an Explorer Channel special about a climb to the top of Mount Everest by an 80-year-old man. The last leg of the climb is less than 1,000 yards but requires the body to burn approximately 5,000 calories during the effort. I'm just sayin'

Good luck on your trip

I considered it, but I couldn’t figure a way to carry that many pimentos.

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I wish Cowboy, my faithful Chihuahua companion, had a “snooze” button. When he awakens with a strong urge to be taken outside, it is not realistic to attempt to persuade him to resist the urge. Occasionally, these little excursions take place at four in the morning. My efforts toward teaching him to tell time have all been in vain, or else he simply refuses to acknowledge that he understands. Sly one that he is, I’ll bet he could wear a watch.

This morning, as I was slipping on my shoes to go, I swear I noticed a look on his face suggesting, “Shoes. What a waste of time.”

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Two strong trends continue to gain momentum in America: the “Dumbing Down” of entertainment media, and a lack of civility shown to anyone outside one’s circle of comrades.

“Saturday Night Live,” for example, was once a classic icon of satire. Today, it doesn’t even qualify as decent farce.

Also, it is becoming all but impossible to hold public meetings on any subject, or to attempt rational debate in any public forum. Just listen to call-in radio programs to see what I mean. Some people actually applauded the churlish outburst by a congressman during the President’s State of the Union speech.

Extrapolated, these trends could result in the greatest country in the world in which no one wants to live.

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Star Valley (The little town that a “Water War” built) once denied a precious drop of its water to the Grinch up the hill in Paysonville. They even went so far as to deny a private well owner the right to sell his product. Now, it seems, SV officials are demanding a piece of the Payson Blue Ridge Reservoir pipeline. Guess all the speed zone revenue money has them thinking big. Question - should SV have to pay extra for the auto emissions created within their town industry? Just a thought.

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I did not know Marcy Rogers. I regret that. She was Payson’s Mother Teresa, devoting her efforts toward disadvantaged children not necessarily from ghetto conditions. She provided shelter, comfort and a secure environment for many children found hopelessly wandering the mean streets of Payson. They were provided with food, love and responsibility - a great combination. She will be enormously missed. Surely someone or some entity will make sure that her good work goes on.

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And so this is 2010. I remember being cautious, because George Orwell had predicted that 1980 was to be a monumental year. Y2K (2000 - remember?) was supposed to create great turmoil. Along with most others, I realized that 09/11/2001 probably changed things fundamentally for the U.S., but I also had the same feeling on 11/23/63. I admit to having grand thoughts on Jan. 20, 2009 which have simmered down a bit, but remain on hold.

In the past year, we have elected a black man to be President. We have seen a health care bill pass through congress for the first time since Harry Truman. We have (hopefully) watched the winding down of a disastrous mistake in Iraq. The jury may take some time deciding whether these are good things or not, but to the present they appear to be holding up.

The blender is still whirring, so who really knows what we will be discussing in 2011?

Some folks wish to bring about disaster just to prove they are right. How satisfying that might be, I leave to you. I personally do not subscribe to “Doomsday” theories, nor to “ Conspiracy” theories. I have lived through Hal Lindsay’s “The Late Great Planet Earth,” and the John Birch Society’s prediction of a Communist takeover of the U.S. I believe in the Judeo/Christian Bible, where it says, “NO MAN knows the time or place” of the end of times.

If you believe in soothsayers, they predict out to the year 5000 and beyond.

Nostradamus wrote Quatrains about the years 3000 and 4000. Maybe it won’t be pretty, or maybe we will have a thousand years of peace. The reality is that No Man knows for sure.

I have often stated that I believe in paddling the boat rather than cursing the conditions.

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I miss the old Gazette, and the fun we had doing battle with another paper.

I’m proud of this new blog, however, and the opportunity it offers. I pray that we will always represent Rim Country in the highest and best light it deserves. I’m grateful for being allowed a small part.