Republican lawmakers have pointedly defended all manner of grotesque
behavior from their leaders and each other in the past year, from
international extortion to open white nationalism to calls for violence
to intentional hoax-premised propaganda to showing up to a House hearing
fiddling with a handgun to the outright attempt to stage a
government-toppling coup. But Rep. Madison Cawthorn's claims of cocaine
use and orgies in the Republican halls of power have set them off.
You can say pretty much anything as a member of the Republican Party,
and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy will have your back. The only
two things that will get you rebuked are a willingness to investigate
the origins of Donald Trump's attempted coup, and the cocaine orgy
thing. And McCarthy wouldn't give a damn about the cocaine orgy thing if
Cawthorn hadn't tagged his fellow Republicans as the ones having them.
Now Cawthorn is taking the usual route on these things with a
(fundraising) video vowing that by God, he's gonna keep talking about
cocaine orgies and the "establishment" can't stop him. Wolverines!!!
There's a whole lot to go through here, so let's knock them off as
quickly as we can. First and most importantly, Madison, I can promise
you that there is nobody in the "radical left" or "the media" who wants
you to shut up about the cocaine orgies. Please keep talking about the
cocaine orgies. We've got your back on this one, so go nuts. Everyone
who is not currently either a Washington, D.C., Republican lawmaker or
staffer wants to you to spill as much about the Republican Cocaine
Orgies as you can spill.
Also, good on you for linking the cocaine orgy talk with the America
First movement and the remarkably unflattering picture of Donald Trump.
Well done.
All of that said, there are a couple of key things to remember in all of this. First, Madison Cawthorn has a long history of lying about the things that happen to and around him, a history so ridiculous that it can plausibly be described as pathological.
But we also know where the claims of cocaine use and lawmaker orgies
come from: Rep. Matt Gaetz. All the Republicans pretending to be greatly
outraged by Cawthorn's claims are steadfastly pretending they have
forgotten, but Rep. Matt Gaetz remains specifically accused of attending group sex parties that included cocaine use—the exact claim Cawthorn is making!
Gaetz is currently (as far as we know) still being investigated for
the sex trafficking of minors, and reporters have now found plenty of
sources willing to come forward to describe that sex trafficking, the
cocaine, the sex parties, and Gaetz's eagerness to brag about his sex
life and show nude pictures of his partners on the floor of the House.
There's no way Rep. Matt Gaetz could have felt comfortable waving
around pictures of maybe-underage, maybe-not sex partners in Congress
unless he had very good reason to believe his fellow House Republicans
would support his ultra-pervy behavior, so there you go. There's the
kernel of truth that suggests that Madison Cawthorn might be lying about
being invited to the cocaine orgies, but none of the
Republicans currently yelling at him have been eager to say the cocaine
orgies are for-sure not happening.
I mean, c'mon. It's a hell of a coincidence that Rep. Matt Gaetz's
closest legislative partner appears to be Rep. Jim Jordan, the House
Republican famous for turning a blind eye to sexual assaults going on around him.
If Republicans are inviting each other to drug-fueled sex parties,
there's no way Madison Cawthorn gets an invite before Gaetz's
coat-averse buddy does.
Madison Cawthorn has proven himself to be an astonishingly brazen liar,
but the people most furious with him aren't going out on a limb to deny that their peers might be having coke orgies.
See there, Madison? Nobody's trying to shut you up. Here's a
Republican senator straight-up inviting you to tell what you know.
(Tillis, in the meantime, is endorsing Cawthorn's Republican primary opponent—and
sounds a lot more fed up with Cawthorn's orgy statement than Tillis
ever was about the whole attempt-to-topple-the-U.S.-government plan.
Apparently Tillis would prefer his party topple government without talking about cocaine orgies; it's a little thing called "decorum," Madison.
As for why the party of rank propaganda, brazen lying, incitements to
violence, weird anime renditions of decapitating political opponents,
white supremacist glad-handing, and international extortion is suddenly
finding this single House Republican lie to be so enraging, we've got an
answer for that too. And it's spectacular.
Yes, the core problem here is that Republican constituents and especially Republican wives
find the idea that their representatives and husbands are doing cocaine
and having sex parties to be plausible enough to ask about. To be sure,
conservatism has now fully self-selected for gullible people willing to
believe anything about anything and especially willing to
believe that national elites are maniacal, criminal sex addicts, so it
was bound to happen. But if House Republicans are getting calls from
their wives asking them to more fully explain their time away from home
... yeah. Yeah, I imagine Madison's closest lawmaker pals might be extremely annoyed with him right now.
There's a whole lot of weird circulating around this right now, with the minority leader calling Cawthorn's claims "exaggerated"
rather than dismissing them outright. There's the claim that Madison
Cawthorn "doesn't know what cocaine is," which is a pretty bizarre claim
to make about a guy who knows and uses the phrase "key bump" to
describe it.
Incidentally, a "key bump" of cocaine? Really, Madison? I guess
Republicans really will do anything to avoid using the metric system.
Fortunately, this story won't be going away. Rep. Madison Cawthorn is
vowing to take on the whole coke-snorting, orgy-having "establishment"
rather than allowing his fellow House Republicans to cancel him, and he
seems pretty confident his best friend Donald Trump will back him up, so
there's that.
It seems to me that Cawthorn's next step will be to name the
lawmakers he thinks are involved with these group sex parties, and there
will be no points awarded for saying "Matt Gaetz" or anyone who hangs
out with Matt Gaetz. That's old news and Republicans have already
rallied around Matt Gaetz to declare that it's nobody's business if Matt
Gaetz snorts cocaine with escorts while grooming college students to have group sex with him. They've known it for a year—and are standing by him!
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