Wait a tick! Didn’t Vladimir Putin deny all that election interference folderol? And didn’t our fake president eagerly take his side? Now Russia is just going to admit to the world that they were both lying all along?
Things are not going well for Li’l Vlad in Ukraine. I’ve seen Walmart Black Friday stampedes that were better organized. And his generals are dying faster than Dick Cheney’s cavalcade of gently used baboon hearts. So it stands to reason that the feckless flacks at Russian state TV are starting to lose their shit over Vlad and Sergei’s Bogus Journey.
In fact, they’ve gotten so desperate, they want their sleeper agent back in the White House, tout de suite.
According to Julia Davis, a Daily Beast columnist and tireless monitor of Russian media, TV host Evgeny Popov is begging us Yanks to reinstall Putie’s puppet before it’s too late.
POPOV: “It’s time for us, for our people to call on the people of the United States to change the regime in the U.S. … and to again help our partner Trump to become president.”
Oh, and Popov isn’t just some random asshole. He’s an extremely important and influential asshole:
Of course, this isn’t the first time Putin’s official propagandists have pined for the return of their sudoriferous smegma golem. In her Monday column, Davis noted how much Russia was already missing Trump last year:
Back in 2021, during his TV show The Evening With Vladimir Soloviev, the host pined for the return of his favorite American president: “Things were so good under Trump... Listen to Trumpushka.” After playing a clip of Trump’s interview with Sean Hannity, wherein the former president dismissed the idea of helping Ukraine fight off Russian aggression, Soloviev sighed: “[He is] so sorely missed.” Between the war in Ukraine, which is likely to become a prolonged struggle, and the crushing U.S. sanctions, only one candidate shows the promise of potentially erasing the consequences of Russian aggression and dramatically limiting America’s support for Ukraine. Clutching to these prospects, the Kremlin’s mouthpieces are openly signaling Russia’s intent to involve themselves in yet another U.S. election.
Isn’t it weird that the guy who was tougher on Russia than anyone in the history of the universe is so sorely missed by the very people whose feet he was holding to the fire? Why would they ever want that ferocious adversary back in power? It doesn’t make any sense!
Unless, you know, they’re convinced the ocher abomination would step aside while Putin curb-stomped former Soviet republics to his heart’s content. Who knows, really? Other than anyone whose brain is still connected to their ears, that is.
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