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Friday, December 6, 2013

Hubble telescope sends annoying stream of selfies

The Borowitz Report

December 4, 2013

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HOUSTON (The Borowitz Report)—NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope, whose mission is to capture images that help scientists better understand the universe, has instead spent much of the past several weeks transmitting an annoying series of self-portraits, NASA scientists confirmed today.

NASA officials were alarmed in mid-November, when, ignoring their orders, the Hubble extended a long robotic arm in order to get a good vantage point on itself and began snapping thousands of blurry, low-resolution photos.

Despite NASA’s repeated instructions to the Hubble to look for evidence of water on distant planets, the telescope continued to produce more and more self-portraits, posting them to its Instagram and Twitter accounts along with the hashtag #pimpin.

Harland Dorrinson, operations manager at the Johnson Space Center, said that NASA had monitored the images sent back by the Hubble since 1990, but that if it persists in sending back nothing but self-portraits, NASA would “probably stop following it.”

“The Hubble might think it looks good in these pictures, but they’re of no interest to anyone but the Hubble itself,” he said.

Photograph by NASA.

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