Mitt wins poll of replacement refs

By Andy Borowitz
The Borowitz Report
 
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—G.O.P. Presidential nominee Mitt Romney finally got some good news today as he found himself ahead of President Obama in a poll of N.F.L. replacement referees.

The survey, which immediately lifted the spirits of the Romney campaign, was taken among replacement refs on the field during N.F.L. games that they were supposed to be officiating last Sunday and Monday.

According to the poll, if the election were held today the replacement refs would have Mr. Romney beating President Obama by a score of 14-12.

By a wide majority, the replacement refs “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I’m pretty sure I’m right about this but I need to talk it over with some other people first.”

Photograph by Joel Auerbach/Getty.