CNN reporter Donie O’Sullivan has done yeoman’s work this year exposing the kookaburra right’s myriad election delusions. In August, for example, he covered Pillow Man Mike Lindell’s infamous cyber symposium, which revealed no proof of election fraud but did strongly suggest Lindell may have personally “inspected” a bit too much ballot-printer toner. (Lindell is friends with renowned brain surgeon and Egyptologist Dr. Ben Carson; I fear Carson performed some light elective surgery on his pal and accidentally left a sponge and/or spongecake in his head. But I have no proof. Not yet, anyway.)
Well, believe it or not, you’ll find even barmier characters than Lindell among the Trumpian rookeries that dot the wholesome heartland of America.
Case in point: By and large, Trump supporters seem to think Jan. 6 had nothing to do with Trump—or his followers.
Just peep this bowlful of bonkers:
LISA: “The Jan. 6 attack was not the Republicans nor Trump. It was the Democrats were behind it all. They’re the ones that caused it all.”
O’SULLIVAN: “You really believe that?”
LISA: “[Scoffs] I know it, and there is no way that a Republican would act that way and there is no way that Trump had anything to do with what happened on Jan. 6.”
O’SULLIVAN: “What about all the Trump supporters that have been charged and indicted?”
LISA: “Because it’s all Democratic judges and people that were on the take from the Democrats.”
Gee, thanks for instilling unshakeable faith in our court system, Donald. I guess all that talk of “Obama judges” had its intended effect. Too bad “Trump judges” don’t feel the corrupt sense of fealty you always assumed they would.
ANITA GERMANO: “I think the whole reporting of it is a giant hoax.”
MARGE MATHIEU: “We are very peaceful people, so it was a total setup. To me, it was the FBI had set it up. I don’t believe that they were Trump supporters that did that.”
Hmm. No wonder the back of my Froot Loops box had this fun “find the FBI agent” game printed on it this morning:
O’SULLIVAN: “You said the whole thing was a setup. You don’t really believe that, do you?”
JEANIE JOHNSON: “I do. I do. Because Trump won the election, they've proven it over and over again.”
Narrator: “They haven’t.”
VICTORIA PERRY: “I think that it was set up and I think that people didn’t know what was happening, and I think that they went in there and they were caught in a trap, if you will.
O’SULLIVAN: “You’re suggesting that Jan. 6 was a setup?”
PERRY: “Yes, I am. Mmm-hmm.”
O’SULLIVAN: “But you would acknowledge that there was a lot of Trump supporters involved in the violence that day.”
PERRY: “I didn’t see any Trump supporters in the violence; I saw people that pretended to be Trump supporters in that violence.”
Really? I wouldn’t even know how to begin to pretend to be a Trump supporter. My brain rebels against it; in fact, it’s now so offended, I fear it may drop out of my head entirely. I assume the MAGA hat is a key feature, but do you wear it to cover up the railroad spike in your head or to better accentuate your mullet? You’d need at least a month-long seminar to pull this off, and the FBI didn’t have nearly that much time.
LARRY: “I really don’t think Trump had much to do [with it], other than there were people who were his supporters for him, some were involved, but I think they were enticed by the FBI, and by undercover agents.”
Anyone who saw the events of Jan. 6 unfold knows from whence they originated. And I don’t mean the FBI—unless that stands for Fatuous, Bloviating Incompetent.
Thanks, Fox News, for greasing the skids for fascism. I assume you’ve already been promised a hefty stake in the profits from any future Soylent Green factories. Your dystopian hellscape awaits. Enjoy it while you can.
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