Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Gun owners can be really stupid...or crazy


Eighteen Months of Idiots and Deadly Power Working in Tandem

By Charles Pierce, Esquire
harles P. Pierce does an excellent job of documenting absurd gun violence across the country with his recurring post, “Today in Responsible Gun Ownership.” His many examples hardly show the tip the iceberg that is gun violence across the United States. In most instances, these trigger-happy absurdities across our land best serve as bloody highlighters circling the ineptitudes in our laws.

What good is a restraining order if the stalker can still own an arsenal?

Why do some states still allow pistols in bars?

Blind people can own guns?

Should women be forbidden to wear low-cut blouses to firing ranges?

Thanks to Pierce’s research, here’s an 18-month look back at irresponsible gun lovers. 

June 16, 2014
An ambiguously drunk man, “kind of bumping into some stuff,” is detained after carrying a “large semi-automatic rifle” along the streets of a Michigan neighborhood. Cops return the rifle the next day after determining that he didn’t “brandish” the weapon but merely held it openly, which is legal in Kalamazoo. Semantics: super important when drunkards carry loaded weapons.
Georgia’s new law permits guns in any building that doesn't have a security screening. Entertainers now contemplate canceling performances at Macon Centreplex and Macon City Auditorium, since the locations are now massive tragedies waiting to happen.
As a neighbor teaches his 7-year-old daughter how to ride a bike, 61-year-old Gary Drake drunkenly shouts advice from his Minnesota porch. When the father says, “I got it,” Drake pulls out a Remington 870 shotgun, points it at the father and threatens to kill him. Fortunately, his wife talks some sense into belligerent old drunkard.
The Louisiana House passes a bill that allows lawmakers to carry firearms into government buildings. Rep. Jeff Thompson (R-Bossier City) ensures there are no psychiatric tests required.
Seven people are shot at a sports bar shootout in Ohio, a state where concealed weapons were recently permitted in bars. This shooting happens after James Irvine, chairman of Buckeye Firearms Association, boasts the success of the trigger-happy law prematurely.
A New Hampshire hunter is shot by his cousin after accidentally resembling a turkey. The victim gobbles five non-lethal BB’s across his body, including one in the spleen.
A blind man in Florida, who shot and killed a guy with a .308 at a range of under 18 inches, is acquitted under the “stand your ground law” and returned his guns. He remains blind and with guns.
A 62-year-old Virginian shoots and kills two brothers with a .243 after they shake the door of a shed on their newly purchased property. The shooter does not own the shed, has no belongings in the shed, and gives no warning before killing.
Senator Rand Paul offers an amendment to allow legal gun owners to enter post offices with firearms as they can any other venue. If there’s one thing someone going postal needs, it’s guns.
In Tennessee, man takes off his pants, which hold a loaded .25 caliber Berretta pistol in the front pocket (easy to forget about). He puts them on the dresser and inadvertently shoots himself in the chin.
Kentucky Representative Leslie Combs is unloading her Ruger 380 semi-automatic in her office at the Capitol Annex when she accidentally fires the weapon at nobody. Says the representative, “I’m a gun owner. It happens.” Good point, Lessi. Good point.
A 72-year-old with Alzheimer’s is shot and killed for approaching his former Georgia home. After shouting commands that were not followed, the shooter assumes the victim is evil – a frail, slow-moving bad guy worthy of death.
Four members of Mothers Demand Action are in the Blue Mesa Grill when forty members of Open Carry Texas gather in the parking lot to hold guns menacingly and intimidate the mothers.
A Missouri legislative assistant leaves his fully loaded 9 milli sitting on the toilet paper after pinching a loaf. Missouri has allowed concealed weapons among “legislators and their staffers” since 2011. This is the first time that the new law, shall we say, backfired.
In Indiana, a moron named Zachariah Grisham murders the 3-year-old son of his girlfriend when playing a game where the toddler says “bang-bang” and the moron points a real gun at him and pulls the trigger in jest. This time, the gun is loaded. The moron is soon arrested.
Two men go to a Milwaukee farmer’s market with AR-15 rifles over their shoulders and pistols on their hips. Police draw guns on them and debate Wisconsin’s open carry laws. The provocateurs are legally free to continue being dicks.
An Ohioan gun instructor accidentally shoots his student while teaching how to not accidentally shoot people.
A man with grenades, automatic rifles, and multiple other firearms leaves his 3-year-old alone in the Miami apartment with the weapons in reach, because he’s late for work and short on time. Calamity ensues.
Buckeye Firearms Association, an Ohio-based pro-gun lobby, raises $12,000 for George Zimmerman to “buy a gun, gear, ammunition, training, security systems, personal protection, whatever he [feels] appropriate to defend himself, defend his family, defend his parents.” Yes, George Zimmerman.
At an Arkansas gun show, one ambitious bullet is accidentally fired through the shooters’ hand before ricocheting to graze another man. The show goes on.
During their annual river float in Missouri, Paul Dart and his family and friends stop at a gravel bar to for a bathroom break when the property owner murders him for trespassing.
A couple is driving their five children around backwoods Virginia when they turn the car around in the wrong driveway. As they’re reversing the Tahoe, 72-year-old Margie Rhea Ramey fires two shots at the family. One bullet strikes the vehicle but no one is injured.
After a sheriff’s deputy in Tennessee shows a gun to his wife, a toddler picks the gun up from the bed and accidentally kills the 48-year-old wife.
A Floridian man gets shot in the leg in an alley, a bowling alley. The shooter is the victim is the dumbass bowling with a loaded gun in his pocket.
A Colorado school employee and part-time security guard gives a schoolboy a ride home. While putting his firearm into the glove box, he shoots the boy in the leg.
A 5-year-old Texan gets out of the bathtub with his 7-year-old brother, retrieves a .22 rifle, and shoots his sibling in the back. The child survives. Some parents stop bathing children together once they start asking the wrong questions. Other parents need more prompting.
In Michigan, a 23-year-old disassembles a loaded pistol when he accidentally busts a cap his teenaged buddy’s leg.
Despite a protective order requiring David Holten to stay two blocks away from his ex-wife, he is legally allowed to keep two pistols and a semiautomatic rifle in the state of Washington. Consequently, Holten takes his wife hostage with his firearms. Fortunately, this incident does not add to the five murders over the last decade where gun-owners with restraining orders killed their significant others.
A 64-year-old man in Utah fires blindly and futilely down the road at burglars fleeing with his property. Police take his .357 handgun and slap him on the wrist with a $700 fine.
A Vietnam vet in Georgia murders a 22-year-old who mistakenly pulls into the old bastard's driveway.
A casing flies into a woman’s blouse at a gun range in Florida. Startled, she shoots her husband.

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