Thinks looking up if we ignore 'Global Warmers'

Why don’t we just put this Global Warming thing to rest? After all, here we are in the waning days of May, almost Memorial Day when God intended for everyone to lather up in SPF 80, go to a lake and cook out. Yet, the wind is howling with gusts around hurricane force and a cold rain is dropping the temperature to below freezing.

Late May, mind you, and no sign of spring. The pretty girls who attempted to greet the month with a ceremonial dance around the May Pole were conspicuous this year in their long johns and parkas. Several people were arrested at City Hall for smoking, but it turned out that it was only their steamy breath condensing in the chill, creating the illusion.

Global warming? Ha! Who believes it?

O.K. ninety-nine percent of the world’s foremost scientists make that claim, but let’s hear it for the little man. The thermometer don’t lie. Al Gore does.

You think good God fearing Christians are going to be lured into an obvious Socialist plot to stop all coal mining and oil drilling? That’s their plan, of course, to convince us we don’t need anything to keep us warm anymore. Global warming will do it. Well, only from our cold dead hands will you be able to remove our thermometers. The government don’t own the weather. Only a fool shivers in the cold and calls it warming.

Granted, something different is going on. We’ve had the most devastating hurricanes, record-busting tornadoes, all-time record flooding, melting glaciers and icebergs, and what not. Japan has experienced a record breaking earthquake and tsunami. Haiti has pretty much been wiped out. Indonesia was almost washed away. That don’t necessarily prove anything, though. It could just be a phase.

Like my good friend Ed Welge, a columnist for our local newspaper, the Roundup, says:
"Anyone believing in the Communist, Godless, governmental take-over masquerading as Global Warming should get an engineering degree like mine." (No pun intended.) Evidence is in the mind of the beholder.

On another slant, I just realized that I might be writing this in an entirely different universal plane. Signs are up all across the U.S. warning that the world ends today, May 21, yet here I am, hacking away. Perhaps what seems like reality is only an illusion, or maybe the end comes later in the day. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

I seem to recall, however, from my old Sunday School days, that no man knows the day or the hour of the “End.” I don’t know where the “end-timers” are getting their information, but I think I’ll stick with that.

Maybe we are actually approaching the end, though. Somewhere else in The Bible, I think, there is a reference to the lion and the lamb lying down in peace together. Well, lo and behold! The towns of Payson and Star Valley have decided to grind their swords into plowshares and form an alliance to bring a four-year college to these parts. I read it in the paper, so it must be true. Funding is guaranteed, too. Proceeds from the speed trap will be shared by both communities. Signs and wonders, I tell you.

I moved from the gnarly traffic, noise and contentiousness of a small southern town gone crazy on the steroids of competition and “growth.” Now, growth is a perfectly acceptable goal as long as it is somewhat loyal to reasonable balance and consideration for the common good. Trouble is, performance-enhancing drugs like greed, hubris, prejudice, etc. are far more powerful motivations.

I absolutely do not believe that building a college here in Rim Country will create anything remotely like what has happened to many cities. In fact, I am convinced that the college will insure that this area will be able to sustain economic growth on a completely reasonable and reliable track – something that no other opportunity can approach.

Change and some accommodation will be required, however. Neither Payson nor Star Valley can expect to remain the sleepy little local communities, frozen in time that they have become over the years. The common good will be well served, I believe. If the world actually survives, this will be one of the nicest places for future generations to enjoy it.

No need to build sky-scrapers and freeways, either. Local charm should prevail, but no longer will there be an abundance of “Space Available” signs in store windows. Prosperity is not selective. As the saying goes, “A high tide lifts all boats.”

That is: if we hold steady and not give in to the Global Warmers or the End Timers.