By Andy Borowitz
According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, only eight per cent of those surveyed approved of the job Congress is doing, a scathing indictment of the legislators’ first day on the job.
The 114th Congress started the day on a slightly more positive note, garnering a ten-per-cent approval rating, but after the House of Representatives reëlected John Boehner (R.-Ohio) to a new term as Speaker, the number sank to eight.
On the Senate side, Joni Ernst (R.-Iowa), newly elected to the most despised Congress in American history, said that the low approval number was no cause for concern.
“If you ask somebody to pick a number between one and ten, eight is a pretty high number,” she said. “So it’s all good.”
After Senator Ernst made her comment, Congress’s approval rating plummeted to four per cent.
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