Who reads which newspaper and why

   
(Thanks to Dick Sheehan for sharing the following - except
for #13.  Dick lives in Dallas, so he has no knowledge of your
Payson Roundup.)

  1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run
the country.

   2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they
run the country.

   3. The New York Times is read by people who think they
should run the country, and who are very good at crossword
puzzles.

   4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to
run the country but don't really understand The New York
Times. They do,  however, like their statistics shown in
pie charts.

   5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't
mind running the country, if they could find the time, and if
they didn't have to leave southern California to do it.

   6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used
to run the country.

   7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too
sure who's on the train.

   8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who
is running the country as long as they do something really
scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

   9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running
another country, but need the baseball scores.

   10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who
aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it
but, if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are
occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped,
minority, feminist, or atheist dwarfs who also happen to be
illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of
course, that they are not Republicans.

   11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line
at the grocery store.

   12. The Milwaukee Journal is read by people who have
recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
   
   13. The Payson Roundup is read by people who have no
idea what a real newspaper is supposed to do, by people
who want to know if any of their friends have been arrested
for smoking pot, and by people who are looking for a good
traffic accident story to add a little excitement to their
otherwise mundane lives.