Say what you want about Ivanka Trump, but she knows when to bail on a loser. Her father, who would lose his head and his one-man stainless steel Arby’s slop trough if they weren’t both attached to his body, is running for president again because Russia’s about to turn into a giant Spirit Halloween store and Vlad needs a sincere, loyal friend with unfettered access to top secret nuclear documents.
But Ivanka is not along for the ride this time. She and the high-born toothpaste stain she married have decided to rest on their $2 billion laurels and chill for the time being in South Florida. But that doesn’t mean Ivanka wasn’t the absolute worst victim of Trump’s backyard cockfight of a presidency, according to her.
Rupert Murdoch’s New York Post—which has seen the writing on the wall and belatedly acknowledged it’s all in crayon—has now turned heel on Trump, and it has the inside scoop on Ivanka’s break with MAGA. (Yes, I could link to Murdoch’s paper. I could also personally mail you all anthrax. I prefer to do neither.)
A source told The Post on Thursday that moving forward, she just wants a “normal life” for her family with husband and fellow Trump administration adviser Jared Kushner.
“Ivanka hated all the criticism and the threats, and was unhappy about how a lot of their friends turned their back on them,” the source said of her time in the political spotlight during Trump’s presidency.
Oh, my God, that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, not counting that time Martin Shkreli went to prison. Ivanka has lost her high-society friends just because she worked for and unconditionally supported a guy who forcibly separated babies from their mothers, tried to turn our country into a police state, and convinced millions of vulnerable Americans to eschew basic, lifesaving public health measures, leading to thousands of tragic, unnecessary, completely preventable deaths? I feel so bad for her! And now this same guy wants to go back to the job he showed exactly zero interest in doing? How mortifying.
The Post’s source also noted that Ivanka and Jared didn’t gain any friends while working for her dad and she now “wants as normal a life as she can arrange for her and her family … she’s unhappy about becoming a political target.”
Must be nice to work a few years in a job with no defined responsibilities, watch your husband collect $2 billion for his troubles, and then retreat to Florida for a more or less permanent vacation. Because that’s all “normal.” Meanwhile, the rest of us are forced to root like concussed truffle hogs through endless heaps of smoldering rubble for vanishingly rare shreds of “normal.” But, hey, as long as Ivanka is having fun.
Sadly, this is the most likely reason Ivanka decided to snub her father during his recent big announcement that he really liked having legal immunity and an attorney general who acted more like a mafia consigliere than a public servant, so he’s going to torture us all for another couple of years at least. It’s not that he’s a horrifying ogre; it’s that his horrifying, ogre-like behavior makes her trips to the Hamptons marginally less enjoyable.
After all, being asked to appear with the guy who literally tried to end America kind of sucks when you’re trying super hard not to be a pariah, so you get mealy statements like this:
“I love my father very much. This time around, I am choosing to prioritize my young children and the private life we are creating as a family.
“While I will always love and support my father, going forward I will do so outside the political arena. I am grateful to have had the honor of serving the American people and will always be proud of many of our administration’s accomplishments.”
Yeah, they accomplished a lot of things—$2 billion worth, to be precise. And they served two American people with unmatched devotion. The other 330 million of us are still waiting our turn, but I’m sure they’ll get around to us just as soon as Vanky finds the perfect settee for her foyer.
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