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Thursday, July 1, 2021

Oh, nothing. Just Donald Trump still bragging about passing a dementia test

This photo taken on May 15, 2019 shows a Donald Trump themed toilet brush displayed at a home in Shanghai. The brushes, which sell for 23 Yuan (US $3.34) have become popular on online shopping platforms since a trade war between the US and China escalated in the past week. (Photo by STR / AFP) (Photo by STR/AFP via Getty Images)

Donald Trump was in Texas today, June 30. Something-something about the border. Who knows why he was there, really? Maybe he wanted to brag about the wall you can breach in a few minutes with a $100 reciprocating saw from Home Depot. Or maybe he wanted to remind Americans about his child-separation policy, which simply everyone loved. Ah, the good old days.

But what stuck out was this:

TRUMP: “They did a test. Did I ace it? I aced it, and I’d like to see Biden ace it. He won’t ace it. He’ll get the first two. There are 35 questions, and the first two or three are pretty easy. They’re the animals. Is this a lion, a giraffe? When he gets to around 20 he’s going to have a little hard time. I think he’s going to have a hard time with the first few, actually.”

Yup, that’s Donald Trump still bragging about the dementia test he passed, months after the fact.

Honestly, I’m more embarrassed for Texas Gov. Greg Abbott than for Trump. Trump does this shit all the time. It’s expected. But it must be horrifying to sit next to him and have to pretend he’s not the saddest salmagundi of insensate protoplasm and ear hair clippings in the known universe.

Seriously, who looks at a guy bragging about passing a dementia test—a test doctors give to people they suspect of having, erm, dementia—and thinks, “Yup. That’s my hero. Let’s follow him into the breach. If he leads us astray, well, at least we know he passed a dementia test a year ago. Can’t say we didn’t do our due diligence.”

It’s good to know our former pr*sident knows the difference between a lion and a giraffe. That’s heartening, and it certainly was never a given. But even if he isn’t showing signs of dementia—a big if—I’d argue it’s still pretty horrifying that he thinks this is some sort of feather in his cap. After all, if he thinks acing a dementia test is a big deal, how fucking stupid is he really?

"How could a guy have dementia who had a free Diet Coke button installed on his desk?  Really!  All I had to do was push it and I got a free Diet Coke.  That's not dementia.  That's genius."

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