Bridges, roads crumbling so let's build a wall

A crumbing bridge. (photo: Matt York/AP)

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

31 August 15

s America’s bridges, roads, and other infrastructure dangerously deteriorate from decades of neglect, there is a mounting sense of urgency that it is time to build a giant wall.

Across the U.S., whose rail system is a rickety antique plagued by deadly accidents, Americans are increasingly recognizing that building a wall with Mexico, and possibly another one with Canada, should be the country’s top priority.

Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of a Washington-based think tank called the Center for Responsible Immigration, believes that most Americans favor the building of border walls over extravagant pet projects like structurally sound freeway overpasses.

“The estimated cost of a border wall with Mexico is five billion dollars,” he said. “We could easily blow the same amount of money on infrastructure repairs and have nothing to show for it but functioning highways.”

Congress has dragged its feet on infrastructure spending in recent years, but Dorrinson senses growing support in Washington for building a giant border wall. “Even if for some reason we don’t get the Mexicans to pay for it, five billion is a steal,” he said.

While some think that America’s declining infrastructure is a national-security threat, Dorrinson strongly disagrees. “If immigrants somehow get over the wall, the condition of our bridges and roads will keep them from getting very far,” he said.

Comments

+48 # Dongi 2015-08-31 13:49

You have to watch out for those Mexicans; they sing funny songs and have been known to sneak up on our border towns where they sell drugs on the cheap. John Wayne, hero of the west, knew how to handle them. Since everyone will be on horseback, we don't have to worry about crumbling infrastructure.

+42 # zepp 2015-08-31 15:17

The Donald promises to make Mexico pay for the wall. I'm sure they won't mind.
The advantage to the Canadian wall is that it can be 800 feet tall and made of ice. They will, however, have to detour south of Wisconsin in order to keep Governor White Walker on the correct side of the wall.
Gotta keep the Harpers and Harpees out!

+48 # thunderable 2015-08-31 20:16

Hungary has over 100 miles of razor wire fencing to keep out immigrants...maybe Trump (and the rest of the lot) can run for office there instead? We need a good trillion (or more) on infrastructure in America, but that just makes too much sense for the idiots running for (and in) office.

+23 # keenon the truth 2015-08-31 22:24

Oh my, the last sentence took me by surprise and I startled the people sitting around me with an involuntary hoot of laughter.

(I know that actually the situation is no laughing matter)

+28 # oakes721 2015-08-31 23:26

It makes perfect sense. This is to keep U.S. citizens from escaping from the Military Industrial prison complex.

+48 # danireland46 2015-08-31 23:37

Andy's title tells it all. We're a country of people who've allowed themselves to be frightened. Our infrastructure is falling apart, I live close enough to the Minneapolis bridge that fell into the Mississippi River that I could see the smoke from the collapse.
We know where our money should be spent but we spend it on unnecessary wars, and walls, and our surveillance state out of fear, The problem is, WE are who we should fear: OUR INACTION: all created by our country's propaganda machine, our MIC, our political state, and corporate owned politicians./

+20 # bingers 2015-08-31 23:48

As Pogo said, "We have met the enemy and he is us."

Perhaps the wall they should build is around NOLA in case of another hurricane.