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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Official GOP Debate Drinking Game Rules


Jeb Bush and Rand Paul: who'll make you booze more debate night? (photos: Chip Somodevilla/Getty; Sean Rayford/Getty)
Jeb Bush and Rand Paul: who'll make you booze more debate night? (photos: Chip Somodevilla/Getty; Sean Rayford/Getty)



By Matt Taibbi, Rolling Stone

05 August 15
 
Drive responsibly, 'Murica

n Thursday, August 6th, in Cleveland, Fox is hosting the first of many debates between candidates for the Republican Party presidential nomination.

Actually there will be two debates. One is for the top 10 poll performers, a list that has now been confirmed to include frontrunner and King of All Media Donald Trump, along with Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Chris Christie and John Kasich.

The second tier of seven candidates – what Trump would call "losers" – now includes Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki and Jim Gilmore. They will be debating at a kiddie table separately from the other candidates, and will reportedly be euthanized by a veterinarian after the event.

Listed below are rules for the GOP debate drinking game. Please do not drink yourself or anyone else to death. The game can be played without Jagermeister, but it's not recommended. I will be live-Tweeting during the event.

Drink THE FIRST TIME:

1. Donald Trump mentions his wealth, or how smart he is.

2. A candidate mentions Benghazi

3. A candidate says, "This president..."

4. A candidate whines about not getting called on enough.

5. Someone promises to "take America back."

6. Trump interrupts someone by saying, "Excuse me, let me answer that…"

7. Anyone mentions Hitler, Nazis or Neville Chamberlain. Includes related imagery, e.g. "ovens."

8. The crowd cheers a racist/bigoted statement by a candidate.

9. A candidate mentions his poor/hardscrabble upbringing, or a parent who "worked every day of his life."

10. A candidate talks about "stopping Hillary Clinton."

11. Anyone warns the U.S. is becoming Greece.

12. Trump refers to himself in the third person.

13. Anyone invokes St. Ronald Reagan.

Drink EVERY time a candidate:

14. Claims a positive relationship with a minority. Also known as the, "Some of my best friends are…" rule.

15. Tries to speak Spanish

16. Tries to warm up to the Ohio crowd with an awkward LeBron shout-out.

Drink EVERY TIME you hear the word(s):

17. "I'm not a scientist."

18. "You can keep your doctor."

19. "ACORN."

20. "The war on Christians."

21. "Thug."

22. "Right here in Ohio."

23. "Culture of dependency."

TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AT ANY MENTION OF:

24. "Kenya."

25. "All Lives Matter."
   
Comments

+48 # lsd 2015-08-05 11:57
Can't they all be euthanized? What about twinkie jokes with Christie?

+51 # davidr 2015-08-05 12:19
Are we just supposed to sit idly, no drink in hand, when we hear "defund", "lawless", "Scalia", "nuclear Iran", and "2nd Amendment"?

+61 # dimenson 2015-08-05 13:16
Can I just drink the bottle, Jager and skip the debate altogether? There just isn't enough alcohol!

+28 # JSRaleigh 2015-08-05 13:23
Quoting dimenson:
Can I just drink the bottle, Jager and skip the debate altogether? There just isn't enough alcohol!
Or you could substitute Bacardi 151.
 
+6 # Passing Through 2015-08-05 16:40
"Enough alcohol" to get through this debate will land you in the ER with alcohol poisoning...

+39 # RaW 2015-08-05 13:36
Freedom
The American people
job-killing
entitlements
greatest country
tax cuts
small business
entrepreneurs
our heroes (our troops)
out of control
baby parts
Greece
the nightmare that is Europe
big government
elites
Washington insiders
hard-working
worst administration
Constitution
argle
bargle

+37 # cease59 2015-08-05 13:40
Abortion!
Fetuses!
Murdering babies!
Body parts!
and...
Planned Parenthood!

+26 # gdsharpe 2015-08-05 13:52
Better take just a sip for each time a drink is called for... otherwise you could be smashed in the first fifteen minutes and miss the rest of the "debate".

+19 # backwards_cinderella 2015-08-05 14:13
Oh man, I just don't want to get that drunk!

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