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Thursday, January 22, 2015

Majority Now Believe They Could Be Senators



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In a poll taken on Tuesday night, a wide majority of Americans said that they now believe that they could be elected to the United States Senate.

The results reflected a renewed sense of the inclusiveness of the American political system, as those surveyed said that they believed that anyone could serve in the Senate regardless of intelligence, the ability to speak, or any other qualifications whatsoever.

While those responses indicated that, as of Tuesday night, at least, Americans were energized about the possibility of their future careers in Washington, other results were not so encouraging. 

Nineteen per cent of those surveyed said that they could not respond to the poll questions because they were still in a state of shock, while fourteen per cent agreed with the statement “WTF???”

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