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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Get your beer, ice and terrorists down at Circle K

Here we go again.

A suspect in a series of 18 stabbings that left five people dead in three states was arrested recently at an Atlanta airport gate just before he got on a plane bound for the Middle East.

According to CBS News, passengers on the flight the suspect would have been on said “he was tense and talking on his cell phone when he was arrested at the boarding gate shortly before takeoff.”

CBS reported that the attacks began in my home town of Flint, Mich. in May, and continued on an average of one stabbing every four days until the arrest. Besides the ones in Flint, attacks linked to the suspect occurred in Ohio and Virginia.

The suspect worked in a convenience store in Mt. Morris, Mich., a suburb of Flint. His boss was a dude named Abdulla Farrah who, as you might expect, claimed to be surprised by what happened.

"He was a good guy. All of my employees, we never thought nothing about the guy," said Farrah, manager of Kingwater Market.

Of course the pattern is a familiar one. An Arab terrorist slips through all kinds of security checks and almost gets away.

Doesn’t it just figure. Can’t trust a raghead. Ought to just not let them get on planes.

Except this guy isn’t an Arab. In fact he’s a Jew – an Israeli citizen named Elias Abuelazam living in the U.S. with a green card – and the Delta Air Lines flight he was trying to board was bound for Tel Aviv.

What’s more, his motive, as near as authorities can tell, wasn’t grounded in a hatred of Americans or Christians. Nope, it was a good old fashioned all American hatred of blacks. At least that’s what the authorities figure, given that almost all his victims were black.

"I believe his motivation is pure hatred," Leesburg, Va. Police Chief Joseph Price said.

I hope a moral to this story is beginning to emerge. The problem with patterns is that they seldom hold up. We as a country have become masters at stereotyping. And the ultimate act of bigotry is looking under every rock and behind every convenience store cash register for an Arab to blame for everything that happens to us of an unpleasant nature.

The problem is that life is seldom so simple. There are bad Arabs and good Arabs, just as there are bad Jews and good Jews. And, dare I say, bad Americans and good Americans.

And what will the closet racists among us make of the fact that the victims were black. Doesn’t that just turn your world upside down. Because we all know about blacks, don’t we. How their innate lack of moral character makes them really scary dudes. In fact, that’s why so many dogs don’t like black people. They instinctively know they’re not to be trusted.

Which, of course, brings us to Black dude numero uno – President Barack Obama. Have you noticed how the criticisms leveled against him are little more than the same nonsensical stereotypes racists spew about all blacks. He can’t be trusted. His loyalties lie elsewhere. He wants to sneak up and kill your grandma. He’s not real bright so he’s doing some really dumb things (like achieving health care reform, getting the U.S. auto industry back on its feet, and reforming Wall Street). And how not surprising is it that so many Americans are blaming him for a recession that was clearly initiated by the wars and other sordid policies of the Bush administration. And for bailouts that were initiated by the Bush administration.

It was bad enough that this first-ever black president has been bowing down to Arabs and taking all those extra flights on Air Force One. But even worse, he is now starting to cozy up to the “queers.” How else to explain his attempts to do away with “Don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Of course, you yourself are not a bigot. Neither am I. But we need to keep a close eye on our neighbors. And an even closer one on that friend who is always sending out those gang e-mails attacking Obama on every front.

Your e-mailing friend is probably also ranting against the mosque that has been proposed for a location a couple of blocks from the former home of the World Trade Center – now known as Ground Zero.

Despite the premise of religious tolerance that brought his ancestors here in the first place.

Despite the fact that the mosque cannot even be seen from Ground Zero.

Despite the fact that the Islamic leader who wants to open the mosque is a moderate with whom both Republicans and Democrats have been able to work.

It’s insanity. It’s madness. And it’s a tragedy. That the greatest nation in the world is self destructing by ignoring the very principles that made us great.

But I have an idea. It won’t reverse this terrible trend. It won’t really solve anything. But it would be deliciously ironic.

Instead of a mosque, I say let’s turn the site over to a convenience store chain like Circle K. With a manager whose name sounds Islamic.

Before you know it he’ll hire a cast of characters to cashier at the store who run the gamut – from blacks to illegal Mexicans to Gays – and maybe even a knife-wielding Jew.

That will be even scarier to the bigots than a mosque.

As they say on the Circle K TV commercials, “What else do you need?”

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