President Donald Trump, shown in July.AP
President Donald Trump’s “edgy” antics have
lost their luster. Once upon a time, they roiled
markets and created drama in
world capitals.
Now many just roll their eyes.
Trump’s latest trolling effort, coming via Truth Social, is
the claim that the Strait of Hormuz is “U.S. territory."
On his withering Truth Social platform, Trump posted an
image showing the Strait of Hormuz, with a circle
encompassing parts of Iran, Oman, and the United Arab
Emirates. The caption: “New U.S. Territory.”
This has about as much credibility as his maps of
annexed Canada and Greenland. In fact, given his
losing war with Iran, the post is mostly a reminder
of Trump’s impotence.
The war has left Iran effectively controlling the
Strait, disrupting global shipping and roiling the
world economy. And Trump’s much-ballyhooed
ceasefire plan did nothing to solve the problem.
Its vague language over control of the strait was
so bad that Iran claimed the deal recognized its
authority over the waterway. The agreement also
promised $300 billion in reconstruction incentives
if a final deal could be reached.
As one Emirati political strategist said at the time,
“Iran saw the deal as a recognition it was in control.
Now countries in the region are paying the price.
… It’s a disaster, and we are back to square one.”
The deal was such a disaster that it looked like
Trump was willing to sign anything if it let him
declare victory and walk away from the mess
he created.
Except he didn’t get to walk away. The ceasefire
collapsed. Iran continued attacking ships. The
strait remained largely closed. Oil prices surged.
And now Trump is threatening to bomb Oman—
an ally!—while pretending a waterway thousands
of miles from the United States somehow
belongs to us.
Iran is seemingly no longer afraid of U.S. bombs.
Bombs can destroy things, but they can’t
control territory. And if those bombs hurt the
Iranian people? What do the mullahs care?
They slaughter their own people
indiscriminately.
Worse, Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin
Netanyahu handed the Iranian regime exactly what
authoritarian governments crave: an
external enemy around which to rally
their people.
A regime that had faced massive public
demonstrations now appears
to be firmly back in control, digging
in for a long fight and betting it
can wait out that doddering old
fool in the White House. Whatever
hopes existed that the Iranian people
might finally rid themselves of their
murderous regime are now vastly
diminished.
And Trump? All he has left are words
and stupid AI memes. Or, as they say
in Texas, he’s all hat, no cattle.
Trolling doesn’t open the Strait of
Hormuz. It doesn’t lower oil prices.
It doesn’t defeat Iran. And it sure
as hell doesn’t magically turn Iranian,
Omani, and Emirati territory into
American soil.
But here’s the funny silver lining.
Just weeks ago, the Supreme Court
rejected Trump’s attempt to end
birthright citizenship, ruling that
children born in the United States
to undocumented or temporarily
present parents are U.S. citizens
under the 14th Amendment.
So Trump might want to think through
this whole “U.S. territory” thing.
Because if he really wants to declare
those parts of Iran, Oman, and the
United Arab Emirates to be American
territory, he might also be volunteering
to give a whole lot of Middle Eastern
babies U.S. citizenship.
Is that what MAGA really wants?
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