Daniel Webster, William Seward, William Jennings Bryan, Dean Rusk, Henry Kissinger, Madeleine Albright, and MARCO RUBIO?????
Donald Trump is expected to nominate Sen. Marco Rubio, who he once described as a “lightweight” and a “choker” to be secretary of state. Lord help us.
The impending announcement marks another major milestone in Rubio’s transition from somewhat feisty Trump political opponent to a complete submissive. During the 2016 presidential primaries, Rubio emerged for a moment as a possible alternative to Trump before the nomination had been decided. Trump then directed a barrage of insults at the Florida senator.
He made fun of Rubio’s height, giving him the nickname “Liddle Marco.” He accused Rubio of running “phony television ads” against him, said he was a “record no-show in the Senate” who was “scamming Florida.”
At one point, Trump even wrote, “Marco Rubio is a total lightweight who I wouldn’t hire to run one of my smaller companies—a highly overrated politician.”
For his part, Rubio did throw a few rhetorical punches at Trump. During a primary debate in 2016, he suggested Trump had a small penis, noting, “I’ll admit he’s taller than me. He’s like 6’2’’, which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who’s 5’2’’. Have you seen his hands? And you know what they say about men with small hands?”
Rubio also sold “#NeverTrump” merchandise on his campaign website.
We can only imagine how he'll do up against world leaders. On second thought, let's not.
Eventually, Rubio said that he apologized to Trump for the penis jibe, and it became clear that as Trump amassed political power, Rubio would fall in line with the man who took great pleasure in humiliating him.
In the 2024 cycle, Rubio campaigned for Trump and was reportedly in the running for the vice-presidential position—but was again snubbed by Trump, who instead chose JD Vance.
Trump’s past treatment of his subordinates, particularly his secretaries of state, make it extremely likely that he will humiliate Rubio while he serves as America’s chief diplomat.
Trump’s first secretary of state, Rex Tillerson, served for just a little longer than a year and was later quoted as saying that Trump was completely unprepared for a meeting with Russia’s Vladimir Putin. In response, Trump wrote that Tillerson was “dumb as a rock.” Similarly, Trump recently announced that there would be no place for Mike Pompeo, his other secretary of state, in his next administration.
Rubio appears to consider Trump’s past insults water under the
bridge and is willing to
grin and bear it—or maybe he just likes it,
because more is surely to come.
In case you don't remember, this is Liddle Marco with a bottle of water he reached off camera to get during his Republican Response to the State of the Union some years ago. He got really thirsty mid-speech and almost fell over lunging for the bottle, hence the label "choker." Look out Vladimir, here he comes. Glug Glug Glug.
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