Donald Trump holds up a Bible outside of St. John's Episcopal church across Lafayette Park in Washington, DC, on June 1, 2020.
By Hunter for Daily Kos
Daily Kos Staff
On paper, coup-attempting fascist leader and presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump is about $4 billion richer now.
That’s thanks to some truly bizarre stock market shenanigans that assert his dorky little Twitter clone, Truth Social, to be worth $7 billion despite bringing in only $3.5 million in revenues while losing $45 million to do it. The man could retire in Moscow and be treated like the crooked king he always wanted to be for however many years of life he has left. But no. No, the man cannot stop his obsession with bilking his fans, one nickel or dime or dollar at a time.
So today he's selling ... the Bible. Not just any Bible, but the only Bible endorsed by Himself, Donald Trump. Because Good Friday is coming up and—oh for fuck’s sake, let's just cut to the tape.ttps:
Trump goes on to explain how
the Bible is his favorite book, and how he personally owns lots of
Bibles, and how religion is lacking in America, and how it's the most
important thing of all, and how he's going to bring it back when he's
elected.
That's the X-nee-Twitter copy of a Tuesday morning Truth Social post in which Trump prodded his freaky MAGA base to buy the only Bible that declares itself "inspired by Lee Greenwood's patriotic anthem and hit song, God Bless The USA."
Does your Bible include a "Handwritten chorus to ‘God Bless The USA’ by Lee Greenwood”? Does your Bible also fill out a few more pages by providing full copies of the notably public domain U.S. Constitution and Declaration of Independence?
No? It doesn't? Well, then, you're probably going straight to hell, because Jesus isn't going to put up with you carrying around a Bible that doesn't have those things.
This isn't the first time the Lee Greenwood-"inspired" Bible has popped into the news. It's been burbling into fruition since 2021 as a Christian Nationalism-tinged Holy Book with patriotic dangles attached. It'll set you back $60, and the website includes a special note emphasizing that "GodBlessTheUSABible.com is not owned, managed or controlled by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization, CIC Ventures LLC or any of their respective principals or affiliates." They're just using Trump's "name, likeness and image under paid license."
That's still a bit vague, in that it doesn't explicitly say His Royal Orangeness does not get a cut of the profits as part of his "licensing" agreement, but in the end, we're probably not talking about any amount of money that anyone as allegedly rich as Trump should give a damn about.
And that's the thing. You could give this guy all the money in the world, and he'd still be staring into a camera droning out a Krusty the Clown-level endorsement of a Trump-branded steak, or bottled water, or the most gawdawful shoes you've ever seen in your life.
In theory, Trump is running for president. You'd be hard-pressed to find him on the campaign trail, mind you, and on days when he doesn't have to be in a courtroom, he appears to be devoting himself to golf championships and picking the pettiest possible fights.
His aides can't rouse him into leaving his home to campaign on more than a sporadic basis, but for an unknown licensing fee, he'll dust himself off, set up a couple of American flags behind him and hold up whatever book you want.
I don't know what kind of person thinks to themselves, "You know, I really need a Bible, but I don't like how focused most of them are on Jesus. Is there a version that waters that down a bit with random, unrelated patriotic schlock?" I don't know what to make of a Bible that needs to include, in its FAQ, an answer to the question, "WHAT IF MY BIBLE HAS STICKY PAGES?" Yeah, I know there’s a perfectly reasonable answer. The question is going to haunt my dreams for a week anyway.
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