Imagine waking up in bed next to Donald Trump. I don’t mean literally, of course. There’d be no recovering from that. Short of a brain transplant, anyway. And those don’t exist. Unless you’re Ron Johnson installing a fresh olive loaf once a fortnight, but that goes without saying.
But imagine you’re a Republican candidate who “wakes up” next to Donald Trump after a debauched primary season and suddenly realizes, “Hmm, now I have to appeal to independents and suburban moms with this piquant rhino crotch effluvium hanging over my head for the next three months.”
Well, welcome to the 2022 midterm cycle—a unique election season in which it’s nearly impossible for a Republican to advance to the general without Trump’s imprimatur, but hanging onto his musty coattails could demolish one’s chances in purplish states and districts.
For Republicans, the old saw about the opposite sex seems to apply here: Can’t live with him, can’t live without him, and if you try to introduce him to your friends, they’ll take away your car keys and stage an intervention, because Jesus Gerbil-Sniffin’ Christ, dude, what the fuck are you even doing?
CNN: The man in charge of the House GOP's campaign strategy has been doling out advice to Republican candidates and incumbents in key battleground races as they prepare for the general election: Don't be distracted by Donald Trump on the campaign trail, and instead focus on the issues Republicans believe will be most salient to voters in the midterms.
The guidance from Rep. Tom Emmer of Minnesota, relayed by three GOP sources familiar with the internal conversations, reflects a tacit acknowledgment among Republican leaders that the former president could knock the GOP's midterm messaging off course as they seek to recapture the House majority this fall. It also represents a shift from the strategy deployed in many Republican primaries, where embracing Trump -- or at least not alienating him and his base -- was seen as essential to survival.
You mean “let’s listen to the guy who stole nuclear secrets whine incessantly about the election he lost” isn’t a winning message with middle-class voters? Go figure.
Of course, Republicans—having no real solutions for anything—are counting on voters’ pique over high inflation and gas prices to carry them to victory in November.
Unfortunately for them, inflation appears to have cooled, gas prices are falling, the death of Roe v. Wade has reset the table, President Joe Biden just signed historic legislation to address climate change, and Donald Trump is still looming over the body politic and demanding his Quarter Pounder of flesh.
But Emmer's recommendation may be increasingly tough to follow, especially if Trump announces a presidential run before the midterms -- something Republican leaders, including House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, are desperate to avoid. GOP leaders want the midterms to be a referendum on President Joe Biden and the Democrats, not Trump, even though the former president relishes in being the topic of conversation.
Gee, why wouldn’t they want their conquering hero to announce a presidential run before the midterms? So weird. It’s almost as if two-thirds of the country would prefer a fart in a Goober Grape jar be our next president.
While CNN notes that the FBI’s Mar-a-Lago raid has been “like rocket fuel” for GOP fundraising, it has also presumably created a problem for the party’s candidates, who are “wrestling with how much to invoke Trump back in battleground districts now that they are looking ahead to the general election, where appealing to moderate and suburban voters is crucial.” Guess that’s what happens when you spend seven years acting like a pack of frat rushees at their first wop party.
CNN also talked to “multiple” Republicans in battleground districts who are now desperately trying to learn the Trump Two-Step.
One admitted that they refuse to even mention the clammy sack of off-brand methane. “I don't say his name, ever,” said one Republican. “I just avoid saying his name generally. I talk about the policies of his that I like.”
Wait, he has policies? Seriously, what policies? Are conservative think tanks churning out white papers that just say “Be an asshole 24/7” now?
We can do this. The electoral tide seems to have turned a bit, but it’s still up to us to fulfill that promise. If you want to do your part in preventing a future right-wing dystopia, there are steps you can take. Volunteer to send letters to voters, or contribute to Democratic candidates up and down the ballot. And most of all: Remember to vote!
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