By Andy Borowitz
borowitzreport.com
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Controversy swirled around John Roberts today as billionaire Donald Trump claimed that the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court had a fraudulent birth certificate.
Mr. Trump said that these are the findings of a team of personal investigators he retained just after ten o’clock
Thursday morning.
According to these investigators, Justice Roberts, who claims to have
grown up in Indiana, was actually born in a mud hut in a tiny rural
village in Kenya.
Furthermore, Mr. Trump claimed, “So-called John Roberts’ father was a
village witchdoctor who forced all of the villagers to submit to his
shamanic treatments, whether they wanted them or not.”
While most of the mainstream media seemed skeptical of Mr. Trump’s
allegations, Sean Hannity of the Fox News Channel called them “very
concerning,” adding, “It’s time that the American people learned the
truth about John Hussein Roberts.”
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