PREGNANCY 101: Tips for Expecting Mothers

Building a nest

By Mitzi Brabb
Gazette/Connection Columnist

Much like many animals in the wild, expecting women will actively prepare for the arrival of their newborn. Mother birds will spend weeks gathering material and building a perfectly symmetrical nest for their young, as bunnies will dig a warm, comfortable depression lined with leaves, grass, and fur that they pull from their chest.

Though they tend not to use such earthy, natural resources, pregnant women are known for building nests of their own. They probably won’t be lining cribs with chest hair, but most of them will desperately want a clean house and a perfectly decorated baby room.

Organization is also essential for the new mom, having bibs, bottles and diapers ready in their appropriate places. The checklist of “items needed” will dwindle down as the due date approaches.

Out here in rural America, where you can’t just jump into the car and head for Babies-R-Us, garage sales turn into exciting missions and eBay becomes a favorite bookmark for baby stuff. Trust me, you won’t find a more competitive online bidding process than with a mom-to-be looking for a breast pump or mobiles.

While great deals can be found at local thrift stores and garage sales, one must keep the word “recall” in mind when buying used products. If you see something you like, especially car seats and cribs, you can check them out on the consumer product safety recall website, found at www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/category/child.

During these difficult economic times, finances can play a key role in decisions about what is best for the new bundle. Even though I insanely plan to keep my two part-time jobs right up to my due-date, I still feel an underlying desperation to provide for my baby.

I’ve even amused myself with the want ads, knowing full well that no one is likely to hire a woman who is only a few weeks away from giving birth. There are very few ads anyway.

One possibility is the local topless cabaret; they seem to be always looking for new entertainers. I considered there might be a few oddballs out there who would be entertained by a pregnant woman, but since my belly is overshadowing my toes, I don’t know where they would put the money. I suppose a nursing bra would do the trick, but I quickly dismissed the idea.

Preparing the nest also means compromising lifestyles. Traveling, for example, is becoming more difficult. Cursing the seatbelt has become the norm and I wouldn’t dare get on a plane in fear that elevation pressure and turbulence might provoke an early labor.

Pregnancy has limited my work with wildlife as well. I have been caring for nature’s creatures for more than 15 years, and with the pregnancy, I haven’t had the time to feed an orphaned bird every 20 minutes, or chase escape artists around the house. I realized that while trying to catch a bunny the size of a lemon that got away from me while I was bottle-feeding him the other day.

While on all fours, my belly literally dragged on the ground trying to catch the determined rascal, who at three weeks already had the instinct to be wild. Alas, I smiled as I realized that I have at least 13 years with my child before his instincts to become wild will kick in.

Sometimes during these nesting periods women tend to get slightly obsessive over their baby item collection. It might be as nutty as color-coordinating everything to match the baby room or finding the perfect diaper bag. Nowadays nearly all diaper bags are designed to resemble fashionable purses. Finding something “cute” has become all but impossible.

That’s all fine for the “modern woman,” but from my perspective you only get to use cute baby stuff for a short period of time. I figure I’ll have a lifetime of trendy purses, but baby stuff for only a short span. Besides, who wants to get binkies and diapers all mixed up with lipstick and car keys?

The final stage of nesting comes when the labor is imminent. At this point you’ll have everything cleaned, be stocked up on six months worth of toilet paper, and have the fridge stashed with healthy food. When the critical moment occurs, you won’t want to leave the house until the finishing touches are completed.

For wacky animal lovers like me it means preparing days worth of tiny salads for the caged critters who may not have mommy for a couple days. It also means pointlessly slapping on a little make-up and shaving my legs. As difficult as it is to blindly shave with a ballooning bulge in my way, I certainly don’t want the nurses to mistake me for a she-man and jokingly refer to me as gorilla chick, or saguaro legs.

Of course, that is actually the least of the nurse’s concern. Personally, I hope to be less concerned myself this time around, so that I’m not crowning before I leave the house like I was with my last child. But the expecting mom will sooth her fears with strange fixations and will compulsively nest for her young right up to the moment the egg hatches.