Pregnancy 101: Tips for expecting mothers

Wooing away the woes of pregnancy

By Mitzi Brabb
Gazette Blog and
Mogollon Connection
Correspondent

Not so very long ago I woke up, wandered into the bathroom and faced the mirror with a great shock. It wasn’t me that I saw. The puffy, red, glowing face reflected back looked more like W. C. Fields than the person that I usually recognized as me.

“People are going to the think I’m a drinker... a pregnant, heavy drinker,” I cried.

Within a couple of hours my face returned to its softer features, but I still had the negative feelings, and I found myself wondering, “What’s happening to me?”

Sometimes it’s not the blotchy, swollen face that gets me down. It can be something much worse, like newly discovered varicose veins that lead to thoughts of the Thanksgiving turkey just after removal from the freezer. Looking down at my pasty white legs, decorated with purple swirls, I can’t help but despair over the resemblance to that frozen, plucked Tom.

Just the other day I called my sister up, bursting with tears, “It’s not fair to have acne and graying hair at the same time!” I cried.

Of course I realize the gray hairs are caused by the antics of my first child, but sporting the pimply teenage look can only be the consequence of my current pregnancy.

I’ve found that household products like toothpaste can do overnight wonders on those pimply pests, but the deeper ailments including depression are a little more difficult to cure.

Books, friends, family, and just about any source dealing with the subject will tell you that pregnancy is supposed to be one of the happiest times in a woman’s life. However, clinical studies show that one in every five women experience depression while carrying their baby.

For those of us who are just having a bad day, or are hitting a hormonally low point in life, there are some simple solutions. A mother is accustomed to taking care of everyone else; but try putting yourself first for a change, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Take a nice, long walk or a relaxing soak in the tub. Book an afternoon at the day spa or have your girlfriends join you for a virgin margarita at happy hour. After all, the job of caring for, and growing a child within you is undeniably hard work.

With any luck your devoted spouse or significant other will sweep you away from your troubles with a home-cooked, candlelight dinner, rub your aching feet, or take you on a spontaneous evening out. Maybe he will even clench his teeth while enduring a chick flick, which is, after all, little effort in comparison with what you are doing.

Even a little bouquet of flowers can work wonders on a wallowing pregnant woman. Since you are doing all the work, and all he has to do is show up for the labor party, you should feel very much appreciated. Hopefully this can be accomplished without hints or prompting, but sometimes the guys just can’t look beyond the football scores, so you will need to put that smile on your face yourself.

Sometimes when I’m feeling down I go to the store and look at tiny baby shoes and it’s bound to put a smile on my face. Once in a while I’ll catch a glimpse of a bubbly baby cooing at daddy just before a sudden eruption of infant vomit garnishes his shirt. That scene is sure to loosen a few facial muscles and jolt the old soul a bit.

But on a more serious note, as many as 20 percent of expectant mothers struggle with symptoms including fear, sadness, confusion, anxiety, stress and mild to severe depression. These feelings involve changes in brain chemistry, which are inevitable during pregnancy and can result in real biological illnesses.

There are many excellent sources of information available, including books and websites that deal with depression or mental challenges during pregnancy. Most will suggest consulting your personal physician about how to get a handle these issues, but for educational purposes you might consider visiting websites like www.americanpregnancy.org or www.webmd.com.

These sites help you to better understand how chemical imbalances in the brain can affect you. For example, difficult life situations including relationship problems, work stress, and a history of abuse or trauma can intensify feelings of depression during pregnancy. Other contributing factors include pregnancy complications, previous pregnancy loss, or infertility treatments.

For whatever level of despair you might be feeling, it is important to get the help you need. In fact, your unborn child may depend on it. Negative feelings can result in poor eating or sleeping habits, which can potentially cause harm to your baby. Although your family should be your best support group, consult your doctor about therapy or group support meetings. In serious cases, medication may be necessary to keep you feeling functional, and your child safe.

Remember, when the clouds start rolling in, try to get yourself out of bed, avoid the mirror, and find yourself a happy place -- if only to go to a store and look at those little booties dangling from the shelf.