Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Flight attendant just wants to 'go home now'

I’m sometimes asked if I fly with the same people all the time. Since I have yet to master the art of simple “yes or no” replies, I end up providing way more information than the person expected or, most likely, wanted.

The shortest answer is “I used to but now it’s pretty much different crews every week.” It’s not unusual to have a different set of pilots for every flight and the other flight attendants may end up working only a portion of the pairing with me.

My airline has grown tremendously in the last 25 years and that accounts for the major change in scheduling. When I started, we had one type of airplane so all pilots and flight attendants were qualified to work any flight. Then, we added Dash-8 turbo props, 757s, 747s, Airbus 319s, 320s and 321s.

Pilots are restricted to one type of aircraft, so if the choose to work the 757, they can’t bid a trip on an Airbus. And, while it doesn’t seem to make sense, a Boeing 757 pilot can’t fly the Boeing 737, but our pilots with an Airbus rating can work any of the three Airbus planes.

As a flight attendant, I’m trained on all types of aircraft and no matter what my preference, the company has the right to say, “Oops, your plane isn’t available so we’re going to send you on the one you really, really hate.” (Sorry, off topic and whiney. I’ll explain in a later column).

The other portion of our growth that has a big impact on our schedules is destinations. When we flew to 20 cities, most of us had our favorites and would bid to work those flights each month. My best 737 trip was a Salt Lake City overnight followed by Springfield, Mo., and I had great flight crews for two months in a row.

Downtown Salt Lake is a wonderful area for walking, lots of parks and historical buildings plus a nice variety of restaurants with a few vegetarian options and loads of desserts. In Springfield, we stayed at a Howard Johnson’s with a huge indoor pool and the van driver always had complimentary bags of flavored popcorn for each of us. I actually looked forward to leaving the heat of the Phoenix summer, exercising with an outdoor walk the first day followed by swimming in an almost always-deserted pool the next.

The same parameters made an Airbus trip a favorite of mine. I’d fly to Columbus, Ohio, spend the night, fly to New York and back two days in a row and then fly home on the fourth day. The hotel was just a few blocks from a river walk and also had a pool that no one used during the day.

The same pilots and flight attendants worked with me for a few weeks and, because we had multiple crews staying at the hotel, we got in the habit of getting together for happy hour. The hotel provided free snacks and drinks for two hours and they sat the bar up beside the grand piano in the lobby.

I started bringing sheet music and playing halfway popular songs. Of course, at least one person would get tipsy enough to sing along and my favorite “laugh ‘til I cried” moment was a pilot trying to sing "Stairway to Heaven" while I stumbled through it for the first time.

I’m sorry we don’t do that anymore. Although, like most pleasant memories, there isn’t any way that would be as pleasant now. Now, my focus is on home. The title of my new book is "Can I Go Home Now?" and that’s pretty much sums up my bidding choices.

I don’t look for long overnights in cities that I enjoy exploring. I don’t “buddy bid” with friends I enjoy flying with. The main thing for me is time away from base – the total amount of time from check in on the first day to release on the last, and I usually end up with minimum time in a hotel room.

The FAA rule concerning rest periods is based on the time we leave the plane to the time we return to the plane. The minimum (disregarding the confusing exceptions) is eight hours. No, it doesn’t allow for much sleep. I average about five hours. Even the flight attendants who think this will be enough usually discover it’s not very quickly and trade their trips, so even though I should be flying with the same crew each week, I don’t.

So, there you have the long answer that is so long I’m sure you’ve forgotten the question, which I’m also sure you’re sorry that someone asked.

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